Do Asian Women Want Western Husbands?

I actually had this topic for discussion languishing in the old “to do” folder for a while. Putri Cinta’s dating advice post spurred me to put it up.

I saw this topic on Facebook. It was a question as to why Asian women seem to covet western husbands. Really, I think it was just an ad for a dating site but the premise was interesting.

The article was largely filled with generalities but there were some truths in there as well. Often, life in the west is a step up for some Asian women, particularly those who come from poorer families with fewer opportunities. Life in the west is thought to be easier and more prosperous and often that’s probably the case.

I have heard, at least in my own experiences, that many Asian women believe western men will treat them better. There are some women who just want the green card and there are some men who want little more than a domestic slave, but I think the former and latter are in the minority. It’s also said that Asian wives are supposed to be meek and obeying—again, from my own experience, HAH!

Does anyone have any thoughts on the matter? The floor is open.

By the way, the girl in this post is just the one they was featured in the ad.



  1. Kinchina’s avatar

    My experience is as an expat in Asia. I don’t use dating sites or find a wife sites although I know two guys who have and it worked out well for them. One married a Taiwan girl, another from Vietnam. Both were university educated, that was key.
    But as expats or visitors my advice is this. Date girls from good families or who have university educations. Generally they will have more knowledge of your expectations and will understand western culture better. Guys who date girls from poor backgrounds end up with more difficulties. They will expect you in many cases to help support their family. While you may accept that, you will not know the extent of that support until you are well down that road. The idea that everyone in the family will benefit from your money is very common. My friend who worked as China CEO for a substantial company married a women who already had a teenage daughter. His wife is a very nice person and I believe she loves her husband. But the daughter now lives with them and he supports her, she has no plan at age 19. Wife’s parents needed all kinds of money for this sickness or that problem. Turns out all that money went into buying them a new apartment in their hometown. New problems emerge every month where he needs to shell out money to rescue some relative from a bad situation. It’s mostly going to the mortgage on the apartment her parents are enjoying. He accepts the deal but it’s cost him, he will keep working well past 60 when he could have retired comfortably a couple of years ago without his new obligations. Their are literally hundreds of stories like this I am aware of, some guys put a stop to it by saying the wife gets X dollars a month and she can do whatever she wants with it but the pressure she will feel from her family to help all of them is considerable. Saying no offends them all. You are the golden goose so be prepared. To be far, they would treat a local boyfriend of means exactly the same. I’ve had it happen to me when dating and I try to have an honest conversation about what I will support and will not. While your girlfriend may agree with you that you shouldn’t have to support her family, her family will not. So I date only girls who have good jobs, good families and have a plan that’s more than just to “marry well”. You don’t usually find those women in bars in Asia. At least not cheap expat bars. You meet them through work and professional associations.

  2. Avatar of ChickenEssence

    I should let my wife reply by herself … here comes her opinion:

    For both of us it’s our second marriage. My first one was with a western woman, and her first one was also with a western guy. Her first husband cheated on her, became alcoholic and on top of that he abused her. So she divorced. I believe she has a much better life with me :D

    Why western husbands? Because (1) she is very independent. She studied, has a good job, her own ideas, etc. And that’s not something many Chinese men accept easily. (2) We are less bound to traditions and more liberal, which makes life easier normally. (3) We take more-better-loving care of our wives, but unfortunately she met also the ugly side of a western guy.

    Now to my short opinion. I agree with Kinchina: marry a woman that doesn’t come with a package. I am lucky, my in-laws are wealthy and independent enough. Treat your wife properly, pamper and love her, and you will be loved in return like no western woman will ever do – that’s my experience.

  3. Avatar of Tbone

    While the lady in the picture is undeniably cute and sexy, I don’t think that’s Putri Cinta, am I correct?

  4. Avatar of Romanticwarrior


    Nothing to do with her. Just a girl whose likeness was used in the article. Putri was just mentioned because that post reminded me of a discussion topic I’d been holding on to for a while.

  5. ding gal’s avatar

    Western men and asian women do make beautiful babies.

  6. Avatar of ChickenEssence

    ding gal wrote:
    Western men and asian women do make beautiful babies.

    Talking about making babies, we can debate about the famous topic “Western Man Average Size vs. Asian Man Average Size” :P

  7. DL’s avatar

    I’m a 3rd generation Asian born American – worked in both the US and Asia 50/50 percent of the time over the past 30+ years.

    There are a ton of Asian guys who cheat, likewise there are a ton of White guys who cheat – go to Soi Cowboy and at least 70% are white guys many who are outwardly drunk and pointing to their crotch to the go-go dancers. These guys obviously look at Asian women as objects perhaps bragging they too have bigger dicks – yes/no? Given this, perhaps Asian Women prefer arrogant and drunk white guys too?

    There are far more poorer Asians in Asian Asia, Asian women are not dumb, they know $ matter … the numbers show that there are a greater number of White guys from the White World with wealth than number of Asian guys from the Asian World with wealth.

    Most Asian Women I talk to tell me they much prefer Asian men, but I don’t talk to many White Women – who it seems are all right out of Housewives of OC – overweight, loud, and controlling. What man (White or Asian) would want this?

    My Asian Bother and White Wife have equally handsome children compared to my Asian Sister and White Husband. I don’t think White Men have genes that give an advantage – setting dick size aside.

    White Guys age faster, get more wrinkles, grow bald faster, and become obese more so than Asian Guys – yes / no? Perhaps Asian Women prefer these qualities too?

    Was in Thremane recently, met a White Guy – 3 times divorced – looking for love in BKK bragging what a good guy he’s been working for the macho male dominant military.

    You can see, I’m trying to be “tongue & cheek”, but the topic question IMO is a stupid one and plays to the White Man superiority complex of perhaps some of the audience of this site.

    Just sayin’ …

  8. Avatar of wingsfan19

    So I asked my wife that I had seen in my favorite sexy Asian lady website that they were posing the question “Do Asian Women Want Western Husbands?” and she said “Not anymore” and hit me with a frying pan.

    In all seriousness though, I agree generally with the previous posters except that, while we do support her family, my wife works very hard and makes a pretty decent wage so it’s not her staying home and expecting me to do all of it. And her family has had a lot of (genuine) tragedies.

  9. Dirtcheap’s avatar

    Long time follower, rarely comment. This particular thread struck a cord with me… I was an expat for 3 in Taiwan, then I spent the last 22 years traveling back and forth for business. Sometimes spending weeks at time and up to 60% travel. Well about 10yrs ago, I got involved with a local girl in China. 10yrs later we have a beautiful family with 1 son and 2 daughters. I will also include that I do speak fluent Mandarin Chinese and that she is 11yrs my junior, that wasn’t planned, in fact I assumed based on her position she was a few years older than she actually was. I did not find out her real age until the first time I wrote an invitation letter for her to visit me in the US. It was shocking and caught me off guard. With that being said… if you approach a relationship that one party has more to gain than the other your probably looking for the wrong relationship. I didn’t connect with her because I wanted an Asian wife, I have had a string of American girlfriends before. Circumstances however, put me in a position where this was a viable dating pool due to my constant travel and I was traveling to the same places over and over. I’m sure she had options that where wealthier than me, both foreigners and locals but the fact they we connected on a mental and physical level, just like any relationship. Yes, I am experienced in all kinds of green card grabbing and money hungry types. I feel too many people judge our relationship just like some of you have described. I want to say this love is not something that is bound by cultural or financial needs and expectations, it is something found between a woman and a man. We have had our ups and downs like any couple but we are as strong today as we were back when we were dating. I do not support her family, and that was never an expectation our family comes first if we can help so be it. But what our family needs come first. She is my equal and I have never looked at her any other way. If you treat her differently and she treats you differently because of where you come from… that is the first sign shit will go south.

  10. Stanley Rutgers’s avatar

    Sounds like DL has some jealousy issues.

  11. investone’s avatar

    As an American ,black American,married to Asian woman. I agree they are not subservient at all. Maybe a tad controlling. 20 years and going

  12. DL’s avatar

    Hi Again, it’s DL … what got me going on the topic question and some feedback is that, I’m paraphrasing the … we take better care comment … that “White Men treat Asian Women better than Asian Men” … ummmm … “White Men treat Asian Women better than Asian Men”.

    Never mind that the divorce rates White Men countries are consistently higher than in Asian Men countries – of course, this might be because Asian Men “control” their women and want to stay in a bad marriage.

    There can be so many exceptions to this that it is almost impossible to comment without offending someone. In some ways, the question is inflammatory. Just look at some of the responses – about the size of Asian Men’s dicks, for example.

    OK – I’m small, only an inch or so, but it works fine when it needs to work and nobody complains, not me or my female partners. Since high school, I’ve heard all the jokes all from the White Guys and some Black Guys (mostly bullies but some non-bullies just making a joke), many even from my “friends”. But these jokes about the size of my dick was often said like this or with some variation “hey peanut dick, you f’ing chink, slope head nip gook, go back where you came from” … then sometimes “haha just joking”. And my father was a GI in WW2 in the Pacific and was wounded. I probably heard comments like that every week during my high school days – and again, many from my “friends”. Other Asian guys got the same treatment. I chose to just laugh it off otherwise I’d be in a fight every week of the school year.

    So this Asian Women preferring White Men together with the “small” comments bring up incredible mixed emotions in me. Jealousy – not really, inferiority – maybe in the eyes of some White Men who believe they are superior to Asian Men for treating Asian women better or because they have a bigger dick perhaps, puzzled – a big YES, if Asian Women knew how racist and superior White Men have been towards Asian Men I wonder if the sentiment of White or Asian Men would be different.

    Perhaps turning the question around to Do Asian Men not prefer White Women?, or perhaps Do White Women prefer Black Men (because of the other famous topic) – the feedback might be joking, serious, or tongue & cheek. To me, they are all fruitless questions with too many exceptions that often bring out “we’re better” or degrading comments.

    While equality is a fine goal, many times it just does not work. It doesn’t mean the Asian Man treat the Asian women badly or in a degrading way (as some seem to imply that an unequal relationship equals bad), it just means that things are not equal, and they might be fine with it or they simply find a way to make it work. Well, enough of my 2 cents.

    Have a great Super Bowl Weekend everyone …

  13. V’s avatar

    ChickenEssence wrote: Talking about making babies, we can debate about the famous topic “Western Man Average Size vs. Asian Man Average Size” :P

    TBF, both genders have assholes. Either they think it’s you, or you think it’s them. And since it was brought up, not EVERY Black man is a freakishly endowed Mandingo. This isn’t porn :roll:

  14. Avatar of MaJieMao

    Well my Chinese wife ran off with a 22 old boy in the USA, she is 35. So yeah they like Westerners but they can be as unfaithful as western women too.

  15. Dirtcheap’s avatar

    I have nothing against Asian males I do not think I am superior in any way, dick size isn’t all everyone claims you either know how to use or you don’t… but. I have many Asian friends, I can tell you one of the biggest reasons Asian women cheat… especially in the west. Is because they know their husbands are going back to Asia for business and they are fucking around with the KTV girls. I have one rule for my teams… I don’t care if they drink or have dinner with suppliers but if I find out they are doing the KTV thing with suppliers they are done… Chinese guys in many ways just feel it’s ok to go do this stuff and it’s not! Why can they do it and expect the wife to sit home and be a nun. In many cases these guys have some very hot wives at home but they prefer to have their fun with ktv girls instead of their wives!

    Not only does this situation give the supplier leverage against my team members it also clouds their judgement. Fine go meet a girl at a bar knock your socks off! Don’t do it in front of or with a supplier that is my rule! Simple as that.

    I’ll add one last thing. When you meet the right person, no matter the race you don’t even want to take the chance to mess up what you have… yes… it’s that good. Mind blowing sex every time even after 3 kids and she is hot as can be!

  16. cambodiandude’s avatar

    asian women are like any other women. If you are a good looking westerner, they want you because they find you attractive. If you are an ugly westerner, they want you for your money.

    asian women also tend to be racist too. they prefer people from lighter skin races. I am cambodian and have better luck with hispanic and black women than asian women, especially the chinese and koreans. they have low tolerance for dark asian men. they give you this disgusted look as if you are a rapist.

  17. Jay’s avatar

    A lot of Asian women want to be with White guys because they fetish Eurasian children. They dislike their own ethnic features and want kids who are considered beautiful by the general public because of their high and narrow nose, big Western-looking eyes (preferably blue or green), sharp bone structure, and often times, lighter skin. Eurasian kids are usually taller too. Partnering with an Asian guy will most likely not produce these sought-after features that these women desire.

    It’s much more rare for an Asian woman to marry say, a Black or Latino guy, because most find dark skin and features that are less sharp to be unattractive.

    I think its shallow and borderline racist, but then again who am I to judge their preferences?