Asian Sirens Airways flight ASA150 is now boarding at gate 15. Please make your way to the boarding gate now! Please have your passport ready for boarding, the gate will close in 10 minutes.
This is your captain speaking, Captain Ahab, I mean meh1001. I’d like to wish you a warm welcome to today’s flight to the land of Asian Sirens.
Our estimated flight time is 2 hours 7 minutes … so buckle in and make yourself comfortable. The weather at our destination is … a very pleasant 27 degrees celsius … errrrr bright skies and good sunshine … So all the ladies will be wearing bikinis and … some of them will not be wearing … anything at all. Except … earrings.
I’d like to introduce to you our newest … member of the cabin crew. Yuan yuan (圆圆), who flies with us for the … first time today and will be … taking off her clothes for your pleasure. A natural beauty with an … infectious smile she will be happy to serve … light refreshments and … snacks to help make your flight comfortable and … pleasant.
We hope you enjoy your .. uhhhh … flight with … [Hey You! Co-thingy-guy! Who am I flying with again?] … [What, those jokers?] … [Yeah, I guess. The trolley Dolley's are sure hot though] … ASA Airways.
What can I say? I just love a girl in (and mostly out of) uniform!